Listen Here
By Tristan Cross
crosst2@findlay.edu
Football has been a part of my identity since I first picked one up. It shaped my schedule, my friendships, and the person I’ve become. For the last twenty-three years, my identity has been Tristan Cross, Football player, but two weeks ago, when we walked off the field after the first round of the playoffs, I realized, for the very first time, that this chapter of my life was really over.
I’m a fifth-year senior and a captain here at the University of Findlay, so I have lived through more off-season conditioning, bus rides, and film sessions than I can count. I’ve played with taped ankles, bruised ribs, and the fatigue you don’t feel anywhere except after a fourth-quarter drive. I’d do every bit of it again. The game demands a lot, but in the end, it gives more than it takes.
Saying goodbye isn’t simple. Football has never just been a sport to me. It is not something that I simply clocked in and out of. It is my rhythm, my inspiration, and sometimes, my way to escape. It’s where I learned what it meant to lead, to be held accountable, and to push people around me to be better. It’s where I learned how to lose with dignity and win with humility, a lesson you don’t fully feel until your last snap is already taken or you watch the final seconds tick off the scoreboard.
The worst part isn’t losing the games. It’s losing the moments like the early mornings in the weight room, the jokes in the locker room with my best friends before practice, or the walk in silence on the field before kickoff when anything feels possible. You don’t realize how much those moments mean until they are memories replaying in your mind; a movie reel of moments in your history.
There is comfort in knowing that football never truly leaves you. The relationships and lessons stay with you for life. The identity you built throughout the process changes you from a boy to a man. I might not put the pads on again for the rest of my life, but I’ll always carry the confidence, resiliency, and toughness the game taught me.
Walking away from football isn’t the end; it’s just the end of playing it. Now it’s about taking everything the sport gave me and using it in whatever comes next in my life. being a man, a friend, a professional, a husband, a father. Although it hurts to say goodbye, I’m truly blessed I got to live out this dream for as long as I did and I am thankful for who it has shaped me to become.
